Umm Sulaim's Thoughts

Thoughts Lead To Appreciation


Hafsah Kabir [not her real name] bears the responsibility of raising her three children.


For more than six years since losing her husband in a ghastly car accident, Hafsah has worried about sources of income.

Hafsah carries her duty and problems with dignity.

Destitution or desperation need not be a cause to diminish self.

Neighbours render financial assistance to Hafsah.

In Hafsah’s marriage, all of her needs and that of her children were met by her spouse.

She had to obtain employment to cover the cost of living.

Yet, her monthly salary is barely enough to meet the needs of one individual, let alone an adult and 3 energetic children.


Following the demise of her spouse, Hafsah was evicted from her husband’s home by her in-laws.

The inheritance her and her children were entitled to receive according to the Sharee’ah was frozen.

Hafsah narrowly escaped losing custody of her children to her mother-in-law.

Of course, her husband’s extended family extend to her no assistance whatsoever concerning her children.

What solutions emanate from indigenes of the so-called seat of the Khaliphate ~Sokoto State?

She should remarry.

Theirs do not transcend marriage.

To a vulnerable woman, marriage is a dangerous venture.

She is likely to be exploited.


To a vulnerable mother of three young children, marriage portends a precarious existence.

On marriage, she will be expected to abandon her offspring and focus on bearing children for her new husband.

Her children become visitors in her matrimonial home.

They will be left to the care of third persons – grandparents, aunts, uncles and even philanthropist strangers.

Everyone except their stepfather will accept them, for it is not his duty.

That is a life Hasfah spits on, not for her children.

Not to mention that should the new spouse lose his life, the same cycle occurs.

My advice to her:

Whoever marries you should marry you along with your children.

Hafsah’s fortitude is self-sustaining.



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