Thoughts Lead To Appreciation
Imagine my horror when at approximately 14:40 hours today on checking my messages on Facebook, I saw a message from a known name.
In shock, I stared in disbelief, hoping the name belonged to someone else.
As I read the message, the repugnance was confirmed.
My former husband!!!
In utter disgust, I reported the message as an abuse and sent a protest to Facebook on their site governance page that read:
“I have just received a message from my former husband whom I divorced ten years ago after eight months of an abusive and traumatic relationship.
Thanks to Facebook’s new open-door messages, he now has access to me for the first time in ten and a half years.”
It is obvious he had sought ways to reach me on Facebook, and has been emboldened by Facebook’s recent policy compelling all Facebook users to receive messages from everyone.
As I compiled this article via my phone, there is no facility to take and reproduce a screenshot of the message, which was sent in three compositions.
This is a verbatim and unedited – minus the quotation marks – presentation of the message.
“Salaam ‘alaykum warahmatuLlah, Eemaan! How are you doing? What about Mom, Kez, Ebony and the rest of them?
I always feel uncomfortable whenever I remember the debt I owe you. I sent a series of emails in 2003 to the last email address I knew you used before we separated asking about how to settle it. Kindly give your instructions. JazaakiLlahu khayra as you respond.”
[Yesterday at 10:39 Sent from web.]
The wording of the message sickens me.
He was very courteous.
The demented and incurable psycho!
He has deluded himself I have forgotten how during those eight months, he used to be polite to get my attention and trust.
As soon as I was relaxed, he shed the pretence to civility and exhibited his true behaviour, with a punch to my nose.
The hyena, always on the hunt for prey!
Immediately, his smile was replaced with a stern glare.
The nice words disappeared under a torrent of verbal abuse.
His fists ever ready to launch additional blows should he deem it fit.
It is clear he has kept a close watch on my Facebook profile since I noticed him on the social media site.
I shall analyse the content of the message.
1) Note his use of the term separated.
Even though Muslims like to make a difference between divorce initiated by a man and a woman, known in Arabic as talaq and khul’a respectively, the effect is the same – the irrevocable nullification of the marriage.
In English, separation implies the couple are still legally married, but leading a separate life.
I divorced you, you creature. Get accustomed to it.
2) He still recalls the nicknames of my siblings.
I can barely remember his own name.
Some months ago for some purpose, I had to do some hard thinking to recollect his first name.
Same for his siblings. I have recalled the name of only one.
Some Muslims delude themselves that since I publish articles about my traumatic experiences, I must not have got over my former husband.
– Looks more like my former husband is yet to get over being booted out of my life.
3) He took the liberty to spell my first name the way he wished.
Perhaps, he hallucinates he knows my name better than I do.
4) Finally, the debt repayment.
The day I moved into my new home after the divorce, I left Allah to decide what to do to him over that debt.
At the very least, I left it to Allah to decide to take the debt as an expiation for whatever sins I might have committed during those months of living nightmare.
I do not have much. I have no income or earnings. I have no source of livelihood.
But, I am much more bigger than that debt.
If he had any sincere cell in that distasteful body of his, he will have handed the money to my friends a long time ago.
Apparently, he expects me to communicate directly with him.
How much communication did I enjoy with him during those eight months of hell on earth?