Umm Sulaim's Thoughts

Thoughts Lead To Appreciation





Imagine my horror when at approximately 14:40 hours today on checking my messages on Facebook, I saw a message from a known name.

In shock, I stared in disbelief, hoping the name belonged to someone else.

As I read the message, the repugnance was confirmed.

My former husband!!!

In utter disgust, I reported the message as an abuse and sent a protest to Facebook on their site governance page that read:

“I have just received a message from my former husband whom I divorced ten years ago after eight months of an abusive and traumatic relationship.

Thanks to Facebook’s new open-door messages, he now has access to me for the first time in ten and a half years.”

It is obvious he had sought ways to reach me on Facebook, and has been emboldened by Facebook’s recent policy compelling all Facebook users to receive messages from everyone.

As I compiled this article via my phone, there is no facility to take and reproduce a screenshot of the message, which was sent in three compositions.

This is a verbatim and unedited – minus the quotation marks – presentation of the message.

Nurudeen Badru:

“Salaam ‘alaykum warahmatuLlah, Eemaan! How are you doing? What about Mom, Kez, Ebony and the rest of them?
I always feel uncomfortable whenever I remember the debt I owe you. I sent a series of emails in 2003 to the last email address I knew you used before we separated asking about how to settle it. Kindly give your instructions. JazaakiLlahu khayra as you respond.”

[Yesterday at 10:39 Sent from web.]

The wording of the message sickens me.

The beast!

He was very courteous.

The demented and incurable psycho!

He has deluded himself I have forgotten how during those eight months, he used to be polite to get my attention and trust.

As soon as I was relaxed, he shed the pretence to civility and exhibited his true behaviour, with a punch to my nose.

The hyena, always on the hunt for prey!

Immediately, his smile was replaced with a stern glare.

The nice words disappeared under a torrent of verbal abuse.

His fists ever ready to launch additional blows should he deem it fit.

It is clear he has kept a close watch on my Facebook profile since I noticed him on the social media site.

I shall analyse the content of the message.

1) Note his use of the term separated.

Even though Muslims like to make a difference between divorce initiated by a man and a woman, known in Arabic as talaq and khul’a respectively, the effect is the same – the irrevocable nullification of the marriage.

In English, separation implies the couple are still legally married, but leading a separate life.

I divorced you, you creature. Get accustomed to it.

2) He still recalls the nicknames of my siblings.

I can barely remember his own name.

Some months ago for some purpose, I had to do some hard thinking to recollect his first name.

Same for his siblings. I have recalled the name of only one.

Some Muslims delude themselves that since I publish articles about my traumatic experiences, I must not have got over my former husband.

– Looks more like my former husband is yet to get over being booted out of my life.

3) He took the liberty to spell my first name the way he wished.

Perhaps, he hallucinates he knows my name better than I do.

4) Finally, the debt repayment.

The day I moved into my new home after the divorce, I left Allah to decide what to do to him over that debt.

At the very least, I left it to Allah to decide to take the debt as an expiation for whatever sins I might have committed during those months of living nightmare.

I do not have much. I have no income or earnings. I have no source of livelihood.

But, I am much more bigger than that debt.

If he had any sincere cell in that distasteful body of his, he will have handed the money to my friends a long time ago.

Apparently, he expects me to communicate directly with him.

How much communication did I enjoy with him during those eight months of hell on earth?





  1. Umm Sulaim
    September 1, 2013


    My former husband Nurudeen Badru has sent me a flood of messages on Facebook full of rants.

    If I can, I will post the screenshots.

    Something is eating him.

    He is enraged I wrote an article about his communication to me.

    – Same opportunist.

    He does not want me to inform the world of the creature he is.

    He expects me to suffer alone.

    He wants me to play victim.

    In his messages and in the first paragraph, he pretends he still is unaware of what to do regarding the debt.

    The second paragraph claims he only has breasts large enough to forgive his Muslim sister and does not wish me evil.

    The subsequent paragraphs were full of rage.

    He concludes the outburst with as-Salam alaykum waRahmatuLlah (Peace and Mercy of Allah be on you).

    He is the type of creature who will shoot a woman and tell her PEACE!

    – Peace made in hell!

    Serious laughter.

    The one and only,

    Umm Sulaim

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  3. Umm Sulaim
    September 2, 2013

    As-Salam alaykum.

    An observation indicates Facebook has reverted to each user’s previous message setting.

    Those who previously could receive messages from only friends have the setting restored.

    Thank you, Facebook.

    I deeply appreciate your efforts towards an exhilarating and secure experience.

    The one and only,

    Umm Sulaim

  4. Umm Sulaim
    September 3, 2013

    As-Salam alaykum.

    My deepest appreciation to my akada and especially those who share my publications and invite family and friends to read.

    Special gratitude from me for sharing.

    We must convey the message:

    Some Muslim women do NOT want to be victims.

    Some Muslim women are NOT dominated by men.

    The one and only,

    Umm Sulaim

  5. omotayo
    October 14, 2013

    1. Not all relationships must lead to marriage. Some relationships are for a reason, others are for a season only few are for a life time. If it doesn’t work out don’t
    kill yourself because it was for something. Discover the purpose and move on.
    2. Don’t give a man or a woman the totality of your heart before giving the totality of your heart to God. Love that person but put God first.
    3. Don’t get carried away with beauty or money, if that person’s inner person cannot keep you, his money or her beauty cannot either.
    4. Love is never enough, understanding,compatibility, wisdom, patience and tolerance are equally important.

    • Umm Sulaim
      October 15, 2013

      Omotayo, you are very welcome to my world.

      Your contribution coincides precisely with my thoughts.

      If you go through my publications on marriage, you will perceive that.

      Unfortunately, many people do not want to move on, as if they were attached at the hip to the wrong spouse in a horrible marriage.

      The one and only,

      Umm Sulaim

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This entry was posted on September 1, 2013 by in Marriage, Nightmare.


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