Thoughts Lead To Appreciation
Umm Sulaim’s Thoughts is officially one today, August 13, The Day Of The Social Individual.
To celebrate a year of invigorating thoughts that have challenged cultures and beliefs that Muslim women are docile and inconsequential members of the society, we acknowledge the role of men in the fight against misogynistic violence.
Note: Misogynistic violence is as much violence against women as it is violence against women with the allied support and active participation of other women as illustrated in the experiences of Zainab, a Nigerian woman.
The perpetrator range from husband, parents (especially including mothers), siblings, relatives, rapists, suitors, neighbours, murderers, and the society.
Irrespective of the perpetrator of violence against women, some men do oppose such misconduct.
Violence targeting women has never been a gender issue. Yes, the perpetrators – at least those presented to the public – are typically males. Women – mothers, aunts, sisters and women in the community – are the back-stage support set.
Many women perceive the use of force a necessary manipulation tool for every aspect of living.
Some women, on learning of nuptial violence immediately blame the woman for not being obedient, patient, or for acting as a man.
When a woman is raped, some women blame the recipient for being single.
Being a single woman is a grave offence punishable with rape, preferably gang rape.
Some women cooperate with their spouse in the abuse, intimidation and murder of the daughter whose birth pains she alone suffered.
Some women, however, will defend their daughter and insist their husband reserves the right to harm a girl only if he became pregnant and bore his own daughter!
Some husbands, brothers, and fathers and other male members of the society recognise they need not have a uterus to cherish women.
They are aware they were born of a woman, the same gender that is vulnerable to rape, spousal abuse and other forms of violence.
These men protect their mother and sisters by protecting other women.
None of these men will tell their mother to be patient on being punched by their father.
Nor will they look their mother in the face and emphatically inform her the bruises on her body is a phase in marriage.
Those men do not belong to the “violence is a normal stage in a marriage” counselling group.
Excluded from the category of men who oppose misogynistic violence is any man who is deluded a woman needs to endure spousal violence, or worse be accommodating or understanding of her abuser, to have a successful marriage.
Equally excluded is any man who persuades a woman to continue to suffer abuse from parents in order to get to Jannah.
That proposition is a flagrant disregard of both the letter and spirit of the Hijrah.
Frequently, the society including persons in close contact with both the woman and her abuser behave as if violence is a fashion.
If an abuser rapes a woman or girl, he demonstrates no hesitation sharing photos and video of the dastardly act with his and her friends, who in turn share the recordings with other persons.
The recordings go viral. Individuals who, ordinarily, will insist they are compassionate will continue to spread damaging materials, materials that hurt the recipient of abuse more.
The recipient gets raped afresh each time a new person views the images of her rape ordeal. Few of the enchanted audience will pass those images to the police.
No, to them rape is visual aid.
The bloodied body of a woman murdered by her husband is an appetite booster.
What has become of the sanctity of the human body and life?
Has humanity become so insensitive to violence that the human mind has reached rock bottom?
Few men will readily punch another man when provoked, assuming the provoked is not in possession of a weapon.
Some will not dare strike back even when struck.
Their brawl response mechanism is activated only in the presence of a woman or child.
Men who oppose – in mind, word and deed – violence against women recognise the maturity of a man lies in his ability to control self and stand against others of similar nature.
Men are the half-sisters of women. ~> The Messenger of Allah
Men who acknowledge their role in the society as the half-sisters of women accept the common humanity and shared chromosomes.
22 pairs of chromosomes are identical to both genders. Those are 22 pairs of similarities and shared interests.
Only one pair of the 23 pairs of chromosomes found in both genders are different, a significant, and not a belligerent difference.
The XX set of chromosomes define womanhood and the XY a man’s domain.
Men are only an X-chromosome away from being women.
Men against misogynistic violence provide moral support to abuse victims.
These men offer protection to abused persons and act as a deterrent to further intimidations and violence by the same abuser.
They provide financial support to women who have left an abusive relationship to enable women rebuild their life to normalcy.
A warm appreciation to men, partners against misogynistic violence.