Umm Sulaim's Thoughts

Thoughts Lead To Appreciation


A friend is held in high esteem such that one does not wish to have one’s friend headed for trauma.

Advice is more valuable closer home and more appreciated from a friend.

The effect of such a piece of advice is felt by family and friends of the advised.

It is imperative to acknowledge the preceding paragraphs apply only to those persons who create own friendships on principle.

Should one not place an emphasis on the character of the individuals with whom one interacts and associates, one is nonchalant to the conduct of those individuals towards other persons.

If out of habit, one does not offer self advice nor live on own advice, one is reluctant to advise a friend or an associate.

If one is indifferent to the behaviours of a friend towards one, one does not become enthusiastic concerning the relationship between one’s friend and other individuals.

Insincerity to self leads to insincerity to friends. Sincerity to self translates to sincerity to others.

Never allow people’s spite swerve you from being just. ~> Allah [1]

If one exercises self-restraint and refrains from being unjust to others irrespective of the affinity to them, one encourages an equitable level of self-discipline in family and friends.

If one participates in a conspiracy of silence when a friend is involved in the mistreatment of others and refuses to advise the friend to desist from such acts, one has silently approved of the friend’s conduct.

It is only a matter of time before one receives that which one approved.

When people refrain from enjoining good and forbidding oppression, they will be consumed by the consequences of oppression. ~> The Messenger of Allah

Often, some persons feign ignorance of the bad habit of a friend until that bad habit returns to haunt them.

So long as the friend’s ill behaviour is towards others, one regards the former as a dear friend.

One clings to these mottos:

A friend has and can do no wrong. One must take the good behaviour and ignore the bad. One ought to interact with others the way they wish.

One keeps alive the friendship in the delusion one will never be at the receiving end of that horrible habit.

Again, it is sheer delusion.

Once it is one’s turn to experience the mistreatment, one cries foul.

The apathy ceases. Ignorance of wrongdoing ends.

One complains to any audience. One has been treated unfairly and one must challenge that injustice.

One is no longer willing to interact on the friend’s terms. One, promptly, establishes own interactional rules.

The friendship is terminated, not so much because it violated one’s rules, for one did not previously have any, but as the friend now perceives one as a viable target.

The friend ends the friendship. One is, now, the enemy and the pawn.

The former friend is still – for the most part – directing interactions. One ceases to be acceptable.

To anyone familiar with one’s prior state of apathy, one remains a fool; one has always been a fool.

The deliberate neglect to be fair towards others establishes one as blind and unjust.

Establish justice, as witnesses to Allah, even if it is against yourselves, your parents, your relations, the rich or the poor. ~> Allah [2]

The cost of the refusal to even attempt to develop interactional principles is that one loses – in the assumption that one initially possessed – the capacity to distinguish ally from antagonist.

The individual one considered a dear and loyal friend is also a dear and loyal friend to deception, game-playing, conspiracy, blackmail and extortion.

Do not be an advocate for any who betray their trust. ~> Allah [3]

One’s dear and loyal friend made self the hero at one’s expense.

One’s dear and loyal friend harboured covert interests to discredit one.

One’s dear and loyal friend cheated one in transactions and contracts.

One’s dear and loyal friend made records of one’s utterances.

One’s dear and loyal friend was never sincere to one.

The cost of apathy becomes the cost of a lack of common sense.

One, immediately, awakes to the reality that one had been the enemy all the while.

One had been frolicking with one’s enemy.

One is, once more, speechless, this time in a state of stunned silence.

[1] The Qur’an – Surah Al-Ma’idah (5): Ayah 8

Do not let the hatred of a people swerve you to depart from justice.

i.e. whether one is the hater or recipient of hate.

[2] Surah An-Nisa’ (4): Ayah 135

[3] Surah An-Nisa’: Ayah 105


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This entry was posted on June 20, 2013 by in Identity, Thoughts.


© Umm Sulaim’s Thoughts 1439/ 2018. All rights reserved.

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