Umm Sulaim's Thoughts

Thoughts Lead To Appreciation


Every organisation or community outlines rules for interpersonal interactions. These rules are, sometimes, called cultural norms, guidelines, policies or regulations.

Interactional regulations are not limited to large bodies of individuals.

An individual must have rules guiding acceptable social behaviours if the individual seeks a relatively frictionless relationship with others.

Some vital principles that ease socialization include:

a) Self-Identity Principle – Knowing oneself creates a sense of belonging. One belongs to self first.

One must remain self throughout interactions. One must not betray own beliefs and principles.

Before one can concern self with belonging to a team or group of friends, one must have a unique identity.

That identity is the standard of interaction. One must accept self and not seek acceptance from others.

Through the identity, one seeks to discover others with a compatible identity.

b) Other-Identity Recognition – One must not disregard the conduct of others, for then, one interacts with individuals who creates distress for one.

One must silently note the behaviours of as many individuals as possible and ask self certain questions.

Do I wish to be identified with the behaviour of Maryam?

Is Mahmud consistent?

Does Munirah have an acute sense of propriety?

Is Muhammad polite and courteous?

Does Maymunah have a great sense of humour?

If one finds an individual with compatible behaviours, one extends a hand of discussion as equals.

One readily initiates a conversation with a person of variant views if the latter shares one’s perceptions of rectitude.

There are individuals who interact with others only if the latter reduces self to the former’s level or worse becomes subordinate to the former.

The basis of interactions of those individuals is irrational. One must be mentally retarded, dishonest, contemptible, prejudiced, or racial/ tribal to be acceptable.

Should one enter into a dialogue with an unreasonable individual, there is a very high risk the latter’s unbecoming conduct will affect one.

If the individual is coarse and lacks common sense, does one truly expect the former to be decent and rational?

If anything, one should have calculated the cost to self of a direct affront.

If the individual simulates the possession of values, one must acknowledge the risk of reversion to that which is vile.

c) Establishment Of Acceptable Behaviours – One must be alert to any display of inconducive conduct and be prompt to indicate the unacceptability of such.

Only if one is willing to implement own principles can one expect compliance from others.

One politely and calmly, in own words and style, informs the offending individual the behaviour is out of taste.

In addition, if necessary, one ends the conversation.

As an uncertainty exists concerning the behaviours of others, one increases the level of certainty of a delightful social engagement by relying on own conduct.

The only certainty in interaction is one’s regulation of own behaviour.

One must be prepared to adjust or experiment with different modes of interaction until one finds a balance that retains one’s serenity.



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This entry was posted on June 12, 2013 by in Freedom Of Expression, Guardianship, Interactions, Online Life, Real Life and tagged , .


© Umm Sulaim’s Thoughts 1439/ 2018. All rights reserved.

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