Umm Sulaim's Thoughts

Thoughts Lead To Appreciation

A STATE INCORRIGIBLE

Here is an intrigue:

A man can and must order and compel a wife, daughter and sister to desist from acts that do not appeal to him.

A STATE INCORRIGIBLE

Women of the same household are powerless to prevent a male from indulging in acts prohibited in Islam.

Besides ruining a son’s marriage or marital dreams, the mother who is the most powerful person in a man’s life turns the other way to his exploits into the forbidden land.

The mother conveniently plays the powerless game, after all a woman cannot correct a man.

Outside the home, some Muslim women encourage other women to marry an unsuitable man, who engages in unlawful acts.

The deception dangled to the latter group of women is pure psychology – that the woman can change the man.

The woman who until then was trained to be powerless over a man is, suddenly, re-engineered to assume she can exercise power and control over a man’s conduct.

The paradox is women involved in misleading other women into marrying an incompatible spouse equally play another role. Those women enforce the husband’s right of abuse.

They set up a woman to believe she can change a man who possesses excessive powers over her and whose powers subjugates her.

That is the nightmare marriage etched in misery. The woman is initiated into a lifetime of unimaginable abuses.

I have spent my entire life surrounded by and interacting with men. I have never believed a woman can change a man, as much as I do not believe a man can change me.

In my teenage years, I overheard some non-Muslim women boastful of their potential to change a man. Self-delusion, I scoffed privately.

I am yet to be informed of a woman who positively changed a man. It is one thing to imagine it can be done. Achieving that is something else.

Introduce Muslim women who keep their distance and do not interact with men outside their household. Yet, these women become experts on male behaviour.

Assuming the Muslim women who create this illusion in innocent women have meaningful experiences with men in their household, the former might be pardoned for assuming every man is rational.

In reality, those women have no male-female relationship worth emulating.

Their own marriage is a mere legal co-residency or at best legal one-night stand; a marriage devoid of emotional commitment.

They have not changed their own husband to spend more time at home with his family and show concern and compassion – dare I mention love – for his family, yet they mislead other women down the path of misery.

Women are not powerless at all in the face of an intransigent spouse.

Women are required to issue a marching order to the spouse and get him out of their life. Now, that is power.

Of course, most women prefer the helpless victim role. Few women will ever have the intention to employ that power.

More power to those women who cherish their identity and sanity and who are not part of the powerless game playing.

Finally, a man changes of his own volition and at his own time. Any man who says he needs a woman to change has not spoken the truth.

The woman’s role when her spouse chooses to change for the better is supportive.A STATE INCORRIGIBLE

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