Umm Sulaim's Thoughts

Thoughts Lead To Appreciation

WIFE SHARING: Intruders Not Welcomed

A woman marries one man at a time.

Yet, a multitude of men, many of whom she has never met behave as if she shares their bed.

In parts of the world where people lack the capacity to mind their own business, a man boldly instructs another man on the restrictions the latter’s wife must experience.

A woman effectively comes under the control of men she did not marry.

This intrusion is a community-wide extension of the excesses of in-laws, in particular, the mother-in-law.

This time, any man makes his duty the regulation of another man’s wife.

He visits the woman’s husband in his own home or office, sits comfortably, looks him in the eye and directs him on what his wife must be prevented from doing, though the woman’s actions do not violate the principles of Islam and in some cases are recommended acts of worship.

Stop her from wearing the Niqab.

Keep her indoors at all times.

Do not allow her to work.

She must stay away from the internet. No Skype! And definitely, no Facebook!

The men I have always admired would respond to such intruders with a resounding punch or a strong reprimand.

This has been my position. Any man who has the effrontery to as much as mention me to my husband, let alone direct my husband on our nuptial relationship must receive an unforgettable facial stamp – a black eye.

Or my husband had better not return home. He is free to marry the audacious man’s mother, so he can be tutored on how to be a husband!

In many instances, the woman’s husband is unable to maintain a firm no wife-sharing policy, perhaps as a result of too much familiarity with the intruders or perhaps he was known, at some time, to meddle in the private life of other couples.

Some days ago, a dear and close friend of mine reverberated my thoughts, that such mindless men can direct the activities of another man’s wife only if they sleep with her.

In other words, provided they do not share her bed, they should mind their own business.

The prevalence of this obscene interference into a woman’s privacy and the apparent reluctance of the average man to keep his tribesmen and social contacts out of his married life transformed my caution and apprehension of marrying someone from these parts into firmness of resolution against such a marriage.

The last thing I want is a remote-controlled marriage.

I have no tolerance for in-law or mother-in-law interferences.

I, certainly, will not condone community abnorms that indoctrinate men on their misappropriated rights over a woman who is not their wife.

The murmurings I have overheard concerning my choice of lifestyle include:

She must get married!

She keeps staying out late at night.

The very next day, I leave my home and do not return until I have fulfilled my mission.

It has been seven years since I arrived here and I am still single!

The big-mouthed men have their big mouth agape.

Being single has afforded me so much freedom to conduct my life to my taste and the ability to keep busy-bodies out of my private life, despite attempts by some to get me to conform to societal expectations, that only the man with full competence to keep intruders at bay will be acceptable as my husband.

Incidentally, these men who, impertinently, meddle into a woman’s privacy are nowhere to be found should she need their assistance in her husband’s absence.

The only ones among such men willing to contribute to the solution of her predicament will usually stipulate a condition: the woman must provide a reciprocal service in kind – a bedroom kind of service.

What respectable men they are!

2 comments on “WIFE SHARING: Intruders Not Welcomed

  1. Shaik Mohammed Arief Ahmed
    May 3, 2013

    Dear sister wat your thought is acceptable just a single women if changes the mind its not acceptable…….. no men are egearly waiting for the another women behalf of his own wife a men need other women only when the other women encourage a unknown person to obeser her and attract her/….. everthing depends on a women attitude and nature if she is well modern its dosent harm others its totaly loss for the same women in both views of islam and humanity…. HIJAB is strict law from islam but few women follow it in a very good way may be in 100 lets us take 40% the rest dress up the same HIJAB as a costume sticking to a Doll…… so we find most women in the market they do the same thing ……if stranger a unknown man move towards her instead of bending her head they observe the man in such way tat he should get attract by her eyes and main issue men get attracted frst from a women eyes the total body is coverd of women nthg touch to a person heart but a men get affectionated with a women eyes can you please suggest our sisters to cover eyes frst and do not make men to get back of thm.or get attracted thm………and i request my brothers tat we shld be example for other caste people tat islam is a very good caste compare to other religion they are many reason to discuss but a problem we our self are fighting like fool try to learn the quran wording as much as u can and fear allah this world is jst a dream open your eyes c ur own life and observe your family member look up thm and ask ur heart a question your family members are loving u somuch one day they are the one to threw you inside the earth and put mood on u except your good deeds nthg will be in your hand ask allah the forgivness and follow his path no one are perfect in this world but atleast we can try to be a good muslim

    • Umm Sulaim
      May 3, 2013

      As-Salam alaykum waRahmatuLlah waBarakatuH.

      Mohammed, first of all welcome to my world.

      Your comment is appreciated and I fully understand your observations regarding the behaviours of both men and women in disregard of the Hijab.

      Perhaps, I will write an article on that topic in the future, In Sha Allah.

      This particular article WIFE SHARING: Intruders Not Welcomed focusses on the behaviour of some people, most especially men, who delude themselves that they must run – and ruin – other people’s marriage.

      This intrusion is not connected to the behaviour of the woman, at all.

      The one and only,

      Umm Sulaim

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This entry was posted on May 3, 2013 by in Guardianship, Interactions, Real Life and tagged , , , .


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