Thoughts Lead To Appreciation
Friends share enough similar qualities and interests to maintain a lively friendship.
At stressful moments in one’s life, one is awakened to the reality of persons one regards as friends.
The lines of a popular song I heard often during my pre-teen and early teen years especially while on vacation in Port Harcourt were:
When the going is good, you will have many friends.
But, when the going is bad, they will all disappear.
And, they will never come back.
When they come back, they come back to help in bringing you down down down.
Those words are golden.
A useful test of friendship is the removal of the comfort zone.
Superficial friendship will sink to be buried in the depths of confusion similar to the confusion of multiple reflections when one stands between two parallel mirrors.
Friendship with a person who lacks the capacity to think for self is the first to collapse.
Gossip prunes the list of friends faster than a pair of shears trims fruit-trees in an orchard.
Do not talk to Umm Sulaim. Avoid her. She is fake. She is not a good person.
And, as if in a trance, the addressees respond: Yes, sure!
They might as well have said: Yes, sir!
There goes another revelation of freedom lovers, whose love of freedom excludes the freedom to make and choose own friends! Serious laughter!
This admiration for gossip and disdain for independent and critical reasoning is a feature shared across worlds as dissimilar as the United States and Northern Nigeria.
My analysis of the average HaUSA-Fulani, within weeks of my arrival in Sokoto was:
He cannot think.
He does not want to think.
He does not know how to think.
Across the Atlantic in the so-called first world of America, there are some persons from various races and ethnicity, but of note African-Americans who simply refuse to think.
I wonder whether these species of African-Americans are descendants of HaUSA-Fulanis!
What a remarkable resemblance!
The abnorms in the latter encompass both sexes with men topping the list of gossips and gossip lovers.
However, zero-thinkers among Americans I have encountered in my interactions are predominantly women.
Gender equality! Albeit in the negative department!
Personally, it is always an immense pleasure and relief to have my retinue of friends pruned through gossip.
Which intellectual wants an overload of zero-thinkers?
True friendship will withstand the strain created by temporary discomfort.
Critical thinkers define their friendships through reasoning and are determined to maintain positive relations with friends despite the contrivances of village gossips.
They share my principle of zero tolerance of gossips and gossiping.
They may be in the minority, however, steadfastness is a virtue in the minority.
It is my pleasure to be closely associated with intelligent, thoughtful and iconic individuals – the club of ndi echiche (the wise).
Another set of filters of friendships is a financial or health crisis.
Ill-health renders the patient fragile and in need of the support of friends.
Artificial friends remember they have a very busy schedule.
The patient is lucky if his/ her spouse remains patient.
Husbands, in particular, are known for walking out on their marriage as a result of the ill-health of their wife or child.
If a spouse can be selfish at this moment, what does one expect of false friends?
Good friends will remain by one’s side throughout one’s ill-health.
Interestingly, the availability of funds does not necessarily equate to financial assistance; the difference between ability and will.
The will determines whether one supports one’s friends in times of distress.
I smile when I think of those friends of mine who willingly demonstrate their concern for me even when their ability to do so is limited.
I hope I can reciprocate your resolve.
Thank you my friends.