Umm Sulaim's Thoughts

Thoughts Lead To Appreciation

JEWELS OF LOVE: The Precedent

I have frequently discussed the tendency for Muslim women to be in a miserable marriage and promote such as the normal way of life. They are very easily encountered in Muslim circles and are very vocal and adamant in adherence to their personal beliefs.

Muslim women were never the “only men exist” women of nowadays, whose sole concern is dissemination of the threat of hell and the impositions of Qadar (Predestination) without active participation in the solutions of their problems.

Today, I shall begin to narrate the stories of Muslim women who are a treasure to their husband’s heart. Jewels are salient and magnificent, as are these women. They are strong, confident and have the respect of the men in their life.

This is a glimpse into the support, caring and problem-solving skills of a Muslim woman who lived more than 14 centuries ago:

Khaulah bint Malik was erroneously labelled as her mother-in-law [1] by none other than her own husband, Aus ibn as-Samit. This practice was common in pre-Islamic era and essentially meant his wife was his mother, which virtually handicapped Khaulah’s rights as his wife.

Khaulah did not take it lightly [2] and went to complain to the Prophet. After a lengthy disagreement between her and the Prophet [3], Allah revealed some Aayaah (Verses) of the Qur’an in support of Khaulah. Allah reprimanded Aus, her husband and ordered him to make an expiation for his utterance [4].

Here was Khaulah, the dignified woman whom Allah Himself defended and vindicated. Despite her joy and contentment at her victory, she acknowledged her husband was a good man who had committed an accidental, albeit grave slip of the tongue.

She continuously pleaded on behalf of her husband in order to have the expiation reduced to what he could afford. The expiation was eventually decreased from freeing a believing slave, as he could not pay for it, to a two-month continuous stretch of fast. That too was modified, as her husband was elderly, to the lesser expiation of feeding 60 poor persons.

Once more, Khaulah implored the Messenger of Allah for assistance in fulfilling this obligation, for her husband was too poor to meet the expense of feeding 60 individuals a sumptuous meal. Prophet Muhammad donated a basket of dates towards the expiation and Khaulah equalled his donation!

Can you imagine that? How many Muslim women are willing to make the right decision of marrying the right man who is worth protecting? How often do we hear women misadvise other women to marry any ready man?

Khaulah did not sit at home moaning about her plight being Qadar (Predestination), which she could do nothing to rectify. She went in search of the solution, herself. She left her home, went to the Prophet’s home, stood in front of him in a gathering of his Companions, laid down her problem and refused to leave until she had a satisfactory response.

That is what I call a determined woman.

In the next article, on this series, I shall present the problem-solving skills of a contemporary happily married Muslim woman.

[1] Zihar was then the practice of a man alleging that his wife’s back resembled that of his mother, hence he could not have intimacy with her as that would entail incest with his mother.
[2] Today, some Muslim women advocate prayer as the sole solution. Do you not wonder why Khaulah did not just pray for her problem to go away?
[3] A woman actually disputed with the Messenger of Allah. Today, we hear of ‘shaykhs’, imaginary or real, too powerful for a woman to challenge.
[4] Surah Al-Mujadilah (Chapter 58): Aayaah/ Verses 1 – 4

3 comments on “JEWELS OF LOVE: The Precedent

  1. Pingback: JEWELS OF LOVE: I Am With You Darling « Umm Sulaim's Thoughts

  2. Pingback: SEXUALITY: Do Muslim Women Feel Sexy? « Umm Sulaim's Thoughts

  3. Pingback: Reminiscing Love At 40 | Umm Sulaim's Thoughts

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